In our communities, the choice of being "open" (outwardly honest) about one's homosexual and homophilic orientations (or their bi counterparts) is controversial, though largely lauded (on the grounds of personal integrity). Upon "coming out," the individual increases our outwardly known number and presumably takes on a pro-LGBTQ persona, as a means of supporting and legitimizing our oft-oppressed identities. The person also claims an identity we hold intimate and dear (to varying extents), which we support.
I do not know when or the details of how it developed, but at one point, individuals within and sections of our communities developed an aggressive promotion of this choice. Instead of acknowledging "openness" as a choice, with great variance among our potential members, they increasingly demand "openness" and that everyone participate in the ritual of LGBTQ-aberrance confession (more on that issue later). Their reasoning tends to go along what I detailed above, though with the accusation that the not-"open" person negatively affect us as communities.
While I can empathize with their frustration and the militancy, I cannot and will not stand with them on this.
From my own experience with coming out and with the boundaries I set toward other persons' demands of me, I feel that all those who are not "out" are entitled to similar breadth and to the chance and choice to define themselves. I do not have any claims to anyone else's identification*. While I can identify and judge other persons from my perpective, I cannot demand that they acknowledge and take that identification or judgment in on themselves (Norwegian phrasing).
Our identities are personal, and intruding in on someone's identification is a violation against their being**.
Instead, I will be upfront on how not hiding my orientation has been a relief and how I feel more united and secure since I began honestly identifying myself with my orientations. By being examples, we can show the potential joy and the possibility for societies and communities where LGBTQ persons need not cower or fear due to their LGBTQ identity or identification.
*though I will make such claims in exceptional cases, such as unveiling someone who actively attacks LGBTQ communities as part of compensation within a submission to LGBTQ-hostile paradigms (a la Ted Haggard and Senator Craig)
**mind you, point out inconsistencies is not a form of intrusion; pointing out the structural flaws in a wall do not mean that you have breached it
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